The Relative Monkey-ness of Humans

Me: Humans are a type of monkey.

Mom: Depends on who you ask.

Me: No, it depends on how pompous the person you ask is.

Me: Humans are a type of monkey.

Mom: ...and some are more closely related than others.

Me: Yeah.

Me: ...No, less. Monkeys are smarter.

Mom: *makes noncommittal noise*

Me: *pounding on the roof of our 28-year-old VW camper bus* I am a monkey, and I'm proud of it!