Wordplay *is* a Girl's Best Friend.

Today I didn't really have a good day. I went to the plaza after honores for Juarez and spring and a bit about the petroleo which is actually a kind of ridiculous thing to celebrate. The Escolta, being bored, made some prank calls on operators, then when it was all over I called and said I was really sorry for the inconvenience and the time we had probably wasted and hung up before the someone on the other end could respond in order to save more of it. A piece of set (canvas and thick wooden planks rolled up) fell on me.
During recess I was called a crybaby (I am not) and told my feet resemble or are turtle flippers (they aren't). Though I sometimes express an opinion similar to that last sentiment hearing it from someone I really don't like was a different matter, and anyway I still have a couple grudges against Nitwit to harp on, so I let that pass (relatively; I called him what he is, if I remember correctly, his reaction "What did I ever do to you?") and fell silent plotting a dastardly revenge or failing that poking him insane. A minute or so later, he asked if he could borrow two pesos. "No," I said starting out quite calmly. "You jerk why not!" "Well, I don't have any money and I HATE YOU AND WOULDN'T GIVE YOU MONEY IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!" "You don't have to scream" "Oh but I like to" "I'm not deaf-" (around here we both were yelling at once and Z was whispering something that will be revealed soon) "Oh really I could argue to the contrary-" "I'm not stupid-" "Evidence to the contrary right there!-" "What did I ever do to you?"
Now, let's think about that. You (Nitwit) were the first person ever to call me a bitch, but that I'll give you credit that you might have forgotten it. It was a couple months ago, and it was in a "friendly" context, or so someone who can strangely stand you told me. But you just insulted my feet, and I kind of like my feet. (You know, big feet makes falling over *much* harder, even if you run like a crazed - and animate, and constantly twitching (ooh, twitching windmills) - windmill.)
Anyway, back to the future. He says:
"I'm not you," "And that's how I know you are deaf!" (He talks over people horribly. Thinks he's always more important. Remind you of anyone? Say, Mrs. K?) "Oh no I'm not that's why-" (Z bends over, whispers something to me. I grin.) "Stop whispering to her Z!" "Oh I know you're not me that's how I know you're deaf-" - Z tries to say what she had told me as she thinks I'm not going to say it - "unlike me you have no ears. Also, you're stupid. Unlike me, you have NO BRAIN!!"
However afterwards someone said "rose que tienes?" (Literally "what do you have?" but meaning "what's wrong?")
"Feet like turtle flippers," I said.
Wordplay is a girl's best friend.