I feel remarkably dead for someone alive

"No, just - stop laughing. That's better. Yeah. Okay, wave at Sanity... Can't you see her-? She's over there- yes, like that, wave byebye to Sanity. Good girl."

This is what comes of reading the Raining Noodles archives.
Actually, I think I was looking at the source code when I cracked up...
Weird. Source code makes me laugh.
Maybe it was the utter insanity of what I'm going to do on S.L.I..
Oh well. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to google HTML for the brainless, see what comes up.

The Anti-Boxing Day

Okay. Christmas has come, and gone. That makes today...

(drum roll please)

BOXING DAY!

Following in the tradition of The Anti-Christmas, the Anti-Boxing Day. Randomness. That.

Chatting with Mom and I's friend, Mr. P:
Me: Okay.
Me: Monkeys!!
Mr. P.: Monkeys?
Me: Monkeys.
Mr. P.: Really?
Me: Monkeys, indeedilly deedilly deed.
Mr. P.: Ok, I guess it is monkeys, I'm finding motorcycle parts online
Me: Bannanas.
Mr. P.: I'm a little busy now, I'll banana you later, OK?
Me: Bannanas for the ilusionist flamingos with aqua-lungs in the hermite and steel alloy box with the cork on top filled with water for the champange. Okay.
Mr. P.: BFN
Me: ?
Mr. P.: Bye For Now
Me: Thanks. You get an honorary Bannanaa!!
Me: Actually I think I'll have the bannanaa, give me that bannanaa!


"Age is a subject of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

~Mark Twain

"Wait until I have finished my problem!"

~Archimedes, to the Roman soldier who captured and killed him.

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

~Mark Twain

All that is all well and good, you say, but I want to hear about your Christmas, you ask? Well, I'm flattered, I have to say. So:

1. The night of Christmas Eve we got home late but not late enough to stop me from writing a letter to Santa (call me stupid - I belive.), prepping a plate of cookies and scattering oats for the reindeer which they didn't eat.
   
   
2. I woke up (and consequently woke Mom up) at five in the morning, but she managed to convince me to sleep until six forty-seven. I know because I looked at the clock.
   
   
3. I got mostly books which I will review in time and some other notable stuff, in no particular order:
   
   
   
   • A set of portable speaker-things that have an exclusive plugin for iPod Shuffles (I like their slogan, to tell you the truth; its rather clever: "shuffle off this mortal coil" XD)
   • A hollow milk chocolate reindeer
   • A pocket knife
   • A silver bracelet that says "IMAGINE," which prompted several random belting outs of "Imagine all the people,
     Living for today...
     You may say, I'm a dreamer
     But I'm not the only one
     I hope some day you will join us
     And the world will live as one"
     
   • A set of sweatpants and a jacket, the pants of which are too big for me, the jacket of which fits.
   • Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader ("YOU are getting very, very CURIOUS")
   • Peppermints
   • A huge tootsie roll
   • An insulated lunch thing
   • And for the rest of the books? Well:
   • Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge
     
   • Diary of a Young Girl (by Anne Frank)
   • The End by Lemony Snicket
   • Ptolemy's Gate by Jonothan Stroud
   • And others.
   • The Gothic Archies' performance of "The Tragic Treasury"
   • The original soundtrack to "The Princess Diaries"
     
   
   
   
4. We were going to drive out to someone's house for open house because Mr. P. wanted to say Hi but the house was... closed.
   
   
5. We went back to Mrs. V-G's house, where Mr. P. is staying, and then we went to Someone Else's house for a party in which the kids (and me - I was the oldest >:D) started up a merry and not-quite-good game of...
   HIT EACHOTHER WITH [BADLY THROWN IN MOST CASES], FLIMSY, HOLLOW PLASTIC CROQUET BALLS... I think.
   
   
6. After that party, we went to Mr and Mrs. M's house for the real Christmas party.
   

God Rest Ye Merry... Parodies?

I'm working on a parody of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. I think it shall be called Cod Rest Ye Merry, Gentle Hats, but I'm not sure. Here's some snippets:

Warning: If making fun of religion will make you madder than a hatter, then stop reading...right about...HERE.

1. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Though the word's that Christ, our Saviour,
Was born just yesterday.
Word gets around, but grapevine's rotten,
The good thing is what they now say:
Oh, tidings of junk food and toys, junk food and toys,
Oh, tidings of junk food and toys.

2. Maybe I am too sarcastic:
Must be the way I was raised
Since shrinks, they always seem to find
The parents are to blame...
Tecno-myths replacing tales
Of gods, and heroes slain
Putting words in your gods's mouths,
Again -
Are you at it again?
Words that do not belong to them...
Again,
You repeat offender
You put your words in your gods's mouths,
Once again

There'll be more, I promise. And if you're mad, look at it one of two ways:

1. I'm jealous of people who have something to belive in, since I just have an odd, slightly insincere hodgepodge of religions to my name
   
   OR:


2. I'm being philosophical... Free speech, right...? GET THOSE PITCHFORKS AWAY FROM ME! Wait... Where did you get pichforks? Over there? Well... I HAVE PITCH-SPORKS! AND A LARGE SUPPLY OF BLEEPERIN!* COME AT ME... WAIT, DON'T! I DON'T WANNA DIE...!

*A spork is a spoon with little fork tines. Bleeperin is something fictional that can apply to anything that helps after enduring reading a Suethor's fiction (and berating it; aka "to spork"); Brain Bleach can be used to erase all memories of it completely, and both are silly and fictional. So there. No hay de queso, no mas de papa, you know? That, of course, is if you're thanking me for the laugh. Which I sorta doubt. Once again I'm really sorry if anyone's offended. Don't come after me with pitchforks please. Remember, I have the flamingos - and the potatoes! - on my side.